Right behind me was a mother with a crying baby (almost 2yrs old) ! And I mean a screamer!
At that moment, I remembered my son, in the first few years when he would scream all the time (see my post "Why I bothered" for more details), and so of course, my heart went out to her.
But then I remembered something else! I remembered choosing not to go out with my son in public restaurants because I did not want to bother every one else!
And believe me, she was bothering the heck out of me and everyone else at that restaurant!
I tried ignoring her (like that was possible) !
And then I heard it. One of the "creation" phrases. That's right. Phrases that help create these mini-monsters that surround us everywhere.
She (the adult) said, "what is it wittle won...if you don't like it maybe you can try something else? do you want this?? or maybe this?" Mommy can order something else? and then the mini-monster said WAAAHHHHH...NOOOOOO" !!!
THAT'S IT ! It took everything for me not to stand up and say "Give me a break" ! Who's the parent around here? Where's the adult? Need any help? Want me to talk to this one??? "
Scenarios like this one do not make me question our intentions as parents, but it does make me question the emotional reasoning behind our skills (or lack of) and the foundational basis of our decision making as parents.
As loving parents, we are here to protect, guide, be a positive role model to, and love our children. It is important to remember that we are not perfect beings and there are no guarantees. With that said, I believe it is crucial for us to question our behaviours and reflect on how our actions become one of the most important factors that model our children's behaviours.
Questions to make us think:
Am I the kind of person I want my child to become?
Am I more concerned about gaining my child's acceptance or teaching lessons that will come in handy for them later in life?
Am I consistent with what I am teaching ?
Do my actions match my words ?
Am I teaching selfishness or selflessness?
As a parent, YOU are the decision maker. As the adult, you're the one who lets in the computer games, who approves television time, programs, clothing, attitudes, words, actions, food intake and so on.
My question to you is this: Are you aware and accountable for what you are creating?